By T.S. Oldman
I vividly remember being a child and wanting to buy the various bouncy balls, sticky hands, or other cheap toys that they sold near the door of grocery stores. Regardless of whatever toy rolled out of the machine after I inserted a quarter, by that same afternoon I would lose the thing or have it taken away (those sticky hands definitely leave marks on walls). Twenty five cents wasted before dinner. Every time.Without fail. And yet, while I never got anything of value or lasting import, I also never bought a racist collectible. Now, five thoughts about Homies:
1) Somewhere, in whatever third world country these things are manufactured, some person is being paid to spitball new characters for Homie Series #13
2) I have stared at these
figurines toys racist objects for a long time and I literally can't figure out a discernible theme.
3) If a five year old white kid collects all twenty four Homies is he from Alabama or is he definitely from Alabama?
4) I guarantee that Homies were not part of Martin Luther King's dream. Unless it was a dream he had when he took a nap one afternoon after marching and he had only eaten some eggs for breakfast like six hours ago except the eggs were kinda bad and it really wasn't a nap so much as it was one of those times where you close your eyes for like ten minutes and you try to sleep but you start to dream and it's weird and then suddenly you're awake and sweating. Yeah, Homies could have been part of one of those MLK dreams.
5) Look under the 'S' in series. Is that... President Obama? Zoom in. Yes. Yes it is. Why is President Obama in this? Are these toys less racist now? More racist? Why is the President of the United States a homie? Is it cause he's black? What does Obama have in common with the shrugging thug and the woman in the low cut blue dress? AHHHHHHH! HOMIES YOU ARE SO CONFUSING?!
