Theatre Review: Sanguine Theatre Company's Bees and Lions

Kristina Doelling &
Michael Roush
star in Bees and Lions
Photography by Louise

By Elle T.

What does off-off Broadway mean to you?

To some it means bad theatre. To others, it means awkward, low budget theatre. But to adventurous New York Theatre goers, off-off Broadway is chance to be challenged, to explore edgy themes, and to delve deeper into the human experience than typical commercial theatre dares to go.

Sanguine Theatre Company’s production of Bees and Lions at the WOW Café Theatre certainly challenges those limits, and quite successfully at that. A brave look at vulnerability and sexuality, Bees and Lions by Sarah M. Duncan explores the consequences of challenging celebrity as it enjoys its New York City premiere. Duncan won a spot with Sanguine after competing against nearly 100 submissions in Sanguine’s Project Playwright this past January.

Duncan’s story asks what happens when two strangers (a hot girl and a spoiled heir to a business dynasty) get stuck in an elevator together.  Experiments, passion, and dark confessions top the list. Duncan’s “hot girl” (Julie) takes the fate of a notorious celebrity, Sean Carrington, into her own hands after he crashes a party. While battling her own reservations over her current bisexual relationship, thea audience experiences past memories through flashback scenes as we discover the inciting incident of the play. Furthermore, Julie’s partner, Kris, will soon undergo a sex change to become a man, at which point the play explores discovering gender identity.

These talented actors are fearless. Fully committed to the high stakes and not-for-faint-of-heart circumstances, they dove head first into Duncan’s vulnerable, scheming, and nearly sociopathic characters. Leading the cast are Kristina Doelling and Michael Roush, who play the aforementioned Julie and Sean.  The sexual tension between them is tangible, and they play an effective (and need I say “climactic”?) sex scene very well. With so little distance between the audience and the players, the tastefully graphic portrayal forces the audience to live this moment with the characters. Julie takes her plan to the extreme, and Sean experiences something for the first time.

Elle enjoyed Sanguine Theatre Comapny's Bees and Lions
by Sarah M Duncan at the WOW Cafe Theatre

That's not all to their performances, however. Roush's smart comedic timing combines with cleverly written banter for an exciting and multifaceted performance. He is an intriguing actor whom I'd love to see do more.

Doelling is great as well, and she delivers a solid performance as the conflicted and conniving Julie. On the same hand, her and Roush's supporting cast is nothing to write off. Together they form a cohesive whole. Cheers to great casting by the creative team.

Jillian Roberstons's direction is wonderfully effective for telling the story, complicated only by the challenging space. With backstage directly behind the playing area and a low ceiling not allowing much room for creative lighting (at no fault of the lighting designer) the shadows presented a big hurtle for the action. Overall, however, as all good actors do, the players found their light!

The most prominent void after seeing the show was a solid resolution of the many themes broached by the author. It left me wanting more thematically. Duncan takes on many themes, only one of which finds solid resolution. Kris, the transitioning partner, boldly takes her stand on self identity and finally demands of Julia what's truly important. While the play is filled with gripping scenes, this one was most effective  and most arresting.

The main thrust of the play challenged the entitled behavior of celebrity. Duncan offered a flash of resolution with an apology, but Julie's final moments left the audience questioning. Perhaps that was the intention of the author. If so, well done!

Regardless of what off-off broadway means to you, Sanguine's Bees and Lions successfully pushes the limits of commercial theatre and takes the audience on a dark and interesting ride. A big congratulations to the Sanguine Theatre Company, Sarah M. Duncan (thank you for being brave), and the cast a crew.

Cheers!

Don't miss the final performance Sunday, April 29th @ 3:00PM

WOW Cafe Theatre
59-61 E 4th st, New York, NY

For tickets, click here.

Elle T. is an actress pursuing her dream on the Great White Way. She is a regular contributor for Fistful of Words. You can follow he on Twitter @ElleTintheCity.

FoW Movie Trailers Rundown: Period Pieces with Shia and Robert Pattinson

By David Hammock and Thomas Hokum

Cosmopolis



Hammock: Press pause at the one second mark. Could it be? Are those tiny leaves? R-Patz is in a movie that boasts the vaunted Cannes logo! Sure, Cosmopolis is merely a selection (think participation ribbon at a science fair), but this is a big step forward for Mr. Cullen, who has yet to appear in a well-received film in which he was not portraying a Hufflepuff. Sadly, I'm not sure this is the movie that will break that trend... I can't imagine the Cannes jury being très impressed with Jay Baruchel. And what's with the bragging about being the "first film about our new millenium"? What about Wall-E? Nevertheless, I'm rooting for Robert Pattinson to finally earn some long-awaited acting cred. After all, I did name my favorite office appliance after him.

Hokum: When that kid from Twilight is the first thing I see, I want to turn it off. But then I see the mercenary dude from Lost (Oh Keemy, you loved to shoot people) and figure things might be okay. So if I had to guess at the plot I would assume Mr.Vampire (who I’m assuming is still a vampire in this movie because he is never in the sunlight or eating garlic, all while still seducing annoying women) rides around in his limo from the future, tricking women to get in with the many shiny blue lights and display screens that make me think of the Starship Enterprise. Meanwhile, he avoids attacks from the rat-worshipping citizens ofthe future “cosmopolis,” which has to be the dumbest word I’ve ever heard. Almost as dumb as worshipping rats. Did I mention the rats? They seem to be important but mostly I think everyone is Cosmopolis is on drugs. Or they are possessed by the dark rodent god Cheez Wiz. At the 50 second mark a screen appears informing me the movie is based on a book, which I guess is supposed to reassure me that somebody actually liked it enough to put words to it, but then I notice it’s by Don DeLillo and realize it probably didn’t make the NYT Bestseller List.

All seems lost until 1:46 when we see Robert Pattinson appear to take a gun and blow a hole in his hand, which yeah, maybe I’d pay to see that. So long as they’re silver bullets…

Lawless



Hammock: I've been familiar with this movie for a while now because a good chunk of it was filmed in Newnan, GA, where I lived at the time. I believe it was called The Wettest County in the World back then and it was hard to ignore because everyone was always running into Shia LaBeouf around town. I didn't care too much, as Shia obviously peaked on Even Stevens, but had I known that running into Jessica Chastain was a possibility, I may have ventured out more... as if there's actually anything to do in Newnan. Lawless boasts an impressive cast, but I'm not all that intrigued by its premise. Prohibition is so 90 years ago. Get with the program like Cosmopolis and make a movie about our new millenium... you know, without the giant rats.

Hokum: Being a huge fan of gangster movies there’s only so much mud I can sling on this one .I will say that for the first thirty seconds I was waiting for Shia’s circa-1940’s Ford to turn into a giant robot and start squashing policemen. Actually, thinking about how much I enjoyed Cowboys Vs. Aliens, it might not have been a bad idea. As Hammock said, the cast is impressive, and any time a Tommy Gun is fired on screen you can pretty much count on my $7 $10 $12.

Hotel Transylvania



Hammock: Animated films always cast a plethora of stars to do the voices, but one name stood out to me when looking at the lineup for Hotel Transylvania: Genndy Tartakovsky. "Who's that?" you might ask. Why, Genndy Tartakovsky is the creator/director/writer of childhood favorites Dexter's Laboratory, The Powerpuff Girls, and Samurai Jack, and is directing this movie. Now I don't know how well his talents will transfer to the big screen, but with a cartoon resume like that, I'm willing to give Hotel Transylvania a chance, even if it does have Adam Sandler in it.

Hokum: Well, Hammock threatens to throw us off topic as I now have to gush le emotional about how awesome Dexter's Laboratory was; while pondering why Tartakovsky (whose name I wasn't aware of, but must be awesome) has not made more cartoons for me to eye-devour. As far as the trailer, I really like the art direction - it almost looks cell shaded - especially at the beginning where they play with light sources. I'm not going to lie, I was a a big fan of Scooby Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (the old cartoon movie about Scooby and Shaggy racing in Dracula's "Monster Road Rally") growing up and seeing all the old Hollywood monsters brings back some nostalgia. However, as soon as Dracula opens his mouth and the Waterboy's voice comes out the whole thing is ruined. I look forward to falling asleep while I watch it on DVD Netflix.

Ruby Sparks



Hammock: I can't decide whether Ruby Sparks sounds more like the name of a porn star or an energy drink. Either way, I like the premise. It has a little bit of the Stranger Than Fiction thing going on where author meets character in real life, but this one takes the idea a step further as the author, Paul Dano, invents and encounters the girl of his dreams. I like Paul Dano. I think it's because he's a certifiably unattractive fellow who's managed to do well in a certifiably shallow town like Hollywood. Speaking of shallow, Ruby begs the question: if you could pen your dream girl/guy into existence, what sorts of things would you be jotting down? I know I speak for Stephan when I say two of the first words that come to my mind are mental and math. Also, Bar and Refaeli.

Hokum: I second Hammock on both liking the premise and getting the Stranger Than Fiction deja vu. However, where that was a self-propelled Will Ferrell comedy, I get the feeling that Ruby Sparks might try to get its feet wet in the deep end of the drama pool. Honestly, the premise seems so obvious - writer falls in love with his creation - that I'm surprised I haven't seen some iteration of it before. I had no idea this movie was even in the works, but I'm now definitely planning on seeing it. Plus, it's got the geeky kid from The Girl Next Door. Oh, and Hammock, I assume the title refers to what happens when these lovely two gingers get down. ~Hokum out.

David Hammock and Thomas Hokum plan to watch Dexter's Laboratory rather than hang out with Bar Refaeli... again. Hammock are both regular contributors to Fistful of Words. You can follow them on Twitter @david_hammock and @THokum.

How To Pick Up Chicks

By: E Thomas

If you play it right, the answer will be yes.

Picking up chicks should be easy and fun. There are a lot of us, and we want to be picked up- even those of us who pretend like we don't. But some guys seem to be their own worst cock blocks.

This is a guide to picking up chicks, by a chick. In other words, I know this works. Let's investigate.

Charm Will Get You Everywhere
This cannot be reiterated enough- chicks like a funny guy. If you can master this, you have done 90% of the work. Funny trumps everything including looks and money. It has the power to transform an okay looking guy into the cutest, smartest, dreamiest guy in the room. Funny is like crack, a really cheap and addictive way to get someone high on you. This is because, quite simply, most guys are dull. How do you know if you are dull? This is an easy one. If you are not a total douche or a weirdo yet consistently have trouble picking up chicks then you are probably dull. Observe the funniest dude you know interacting with chicks, and you should be able to mimic his behavior enough to get by- especially when you are drunk and feeling bold.

My College Roommate

by David Hammock


This is a true story...


Being a Tech student has its share of hardships... especially if you're a guy. In addition to the insane academic workload, the cramped dorms, and the occasional samurai sword attack, there's the dreaded Ratio. You see, Georgia Tech boasts one of the most unbalanced male-to-female ratio of students in the country, with over 2 guys for every girl. Throw in the fact that many of these girls are engineers who prefer to spend time in the lab rather than in front of the mirror and the pickings are slim. Yes, even Jimmy Dean thinks there's too much sausage on the Georgia Tech campus.


Now I'm not saying there aren't pretty girls at Tech. There are. It's just that with the Ratio and the focus on academics, there are less pretty girls than say at your typical SEC party school. So the odds are bad enough as it is, with guys clamoring for girls' attention and fighting over the one dumb blonde who somehow slipped through the cracks in the admission office... you can't afford any extra obstacles. But I had one. Boy, did I have one.


Enter Paulo Rodriguez.


The man pictured atop this post is Paulo, my roommate my sophomore year at Tech. If you think he looks like a model, it's because he is. With the odds of getting girls already against me, I also had to deal with this. The thing about beautiful people, though, is that they have flaws like the rest of us. All I had to do was find and expose Paulo's flaws, then surely all the ladies would look straight past his washboard abs and at me and my... personality. So I made a list of common beautiful people flaws and tested them out:


He may be hot, but he's dumb.
Nope. Paulo majored in Mechanical Engineering, is multi-lingual, and was on the Dean's List at one of the nation's top institutions.


He may be hot, but he's not nice.
Paulo was a sweetheart. He was always nice to me and by all accounts completely satisfied every single girl he brought back to the dorm.


He may be hot, but he's not smooth.
He was. And even if he wasn't, he's from South Africa and has a heavy accent. Not fair.

Paulo on Manhunt. (4th from the left)

So needless to say, I didn't get a lot of action thrown my way sophomore year... though I did always have the hottest girls on campus in my dorm. There were some other positives that came from having Paulo as a roommate. The lack of girls led to an increase in studying, so I got pretty good grades that year. I also learned an awful lot about humility.


Sophomore year ended and Paulo and I parted ways. We haven't kept in touch, but I have seen him on TV several times, most notably on the Bravo show Manhunt: The Search For America's Most Gorgeous Male Model. He got sixth. I feel sorry for the roommates of the five guys who finished ahead of him.


David Hammock is a regular contributor to Fistful of Words. You can read more from him on his blog The Kids are Aight or follow him on Twitter @david_hammock, Pinterest, and Tumblr.   

Game of Thrones Review: Garden of Bones

Melistrande and her shadow baby were the talk of "Garden of Bones"
Image via HBO Game of Thrones Facebook

By Thomas Hokum

With all the death and dark omens in so far in season two, it was only appropriate that the fourth episode, “Garden of Bones,” opened with a bait and switch. Two guards alone at the edge of camp. The fat one hears something and moves closer, while the skinny guard warns him to stay back… then they both move deeper into the wood’s darkness, followed only by silence and then… a roaring loud fart. Both of the guards laugh.

And then a giant direwolf bites their faces off.

The image of Grey Wind, Robb Stark’s direwolf, charging the Lannister camp is followed by a shot of Robb’s silhouette against the darkness. Fade to black amongst cheers of “The King in the North” and the battle is over with Robb again victorious. The prolonged black screen actually made me think my television was broken for a second. In retrospect, I really liked that they blacked out Robb’s battle (having never showed his previous victory either) because in the books and on the show there is a strong mystery element to Robb’s battles. He uses guerrilla tactics and misdirection to win against larger forces and the cinematography of the black screen enforces the notion that his victories occur under a shroud of unknown. It was a small, almost subconscious touch, but I thought it boosted Robb’s cult of personality.

We also see a conversation of Robb and Lord Bolton reveal a bit of history on the Bolton Family’s love for flaying men alive as a preferred torture method. Robb also finds the time to flirt with a young medic from Volantis while she saws a man’s foot. I think it’s safe to say both Bolton and the nameless girl will be playing a larger role.

Harrenhal and Qarth (pronounced Karth as made clear by the Thirteen) are introduced during the opening credits, which continue to be my favorite in television history. In Qarth, we see a battered and starving Daenerys argue with a group of merchants known as the Thirteen over whether her meager khalasar will be allowed past the city walls. The Thirteen want to see dragons, but Dany is reluctant to do so until they are safe within the walls. Eventually, one the Thirteen invites them in under his protection, presumably brining himself much risk, and that’s all we see of Qarth.

Harrenhal was much more impressive. While only lightly discussed in the actual dialogue of the show, Harrenhall is a cursed castle with a history of misfortune befalling its inhabitants. It seems Tywin Lannister and the Mountain (now recast with a new actor) have made camp in Harrenhal, with the men torturing and interrogating prisoners ruthlessly while Tywin is away. We also witness “The Tickler” from the books asking questions about gold in the woods, as well as the even more awesome, Arya’s “prayer” of names to be killed in full effect, as she says the words over and over while trying to sleep in the prisoner’s quarters. To top it off, Tywin makes Arya his new cupbearer. Yeah, that’ll end well.

FoW Movie Trailers Rundown: Magic Mike Edition

By David Hammock, Stephan Rabbitt, and Laurie Skelton

Looper



Hammock: I've liked Joseph Gordon-Levitt ever since he arm-flapped his way into our nation's hearts as Roger from Angels in the Outfield. With roles in 10 Things I Hate About You, 500 Days of Summer, and 50/50, JGL has shown that not only does he like acting in movies with numbers in them, but that he usually makes pretty good flicks. Therefore, it's rare that I have anything negative to say about JGL, but I just can't overlook how weird he looks in this trailer. As T.S. pointed out when he sent us this video, he looks almost plastic. I'm hoping this Mattel look is the make-up artist's attempt to make him look more like Bruce Willis and not something serious like plastic surgery gone wrong or, more likely, an overactive handsome gland. Back to the movie... Looper seems to have a fairly interesting concept, but I'm not dying to see it. I guess you could say I could take it or Joseph Gordon-Leave It.

Rabbitt: Interesting concept is right. Loopers kill people from the future in the past, leaving no evidence of the killing taking place in the future. Loopers execute masked and bound targets from short range. So why does future JGL come back to visit past JGL with no mask and strapped like he just got out of Charlize Theron's Mini? Did they send future JGL to kill past JGL? Rude. I thought Paul Dano and Emily Blunt would be bringing the sunshine, per usual, but Emily got in on the shotgun action too. A slight change up from Salmon Fishing in the Yemen... I hope, for the salmon's sake.

The Lucky One



Rabbitt: Ugh. Really. This looks terrible and unfortunately, it is probably going to unseat The Hunger Games and win this weekend's box office because nothing else worthwhile is coming out. For having never seen Zac Efron act before, I really seem to not like him one bit. That is probably unfair. If someone were to just read me the story without seeing the trailer, I don't think I would write it off so quickly. But, something about this trailer really bothers me. And his name is Zac Efron.

Hammock: I actually find Zac Efron oddly charming. Is it the boyish grin or the way he nonchalantly leaves the "k" off the end of his first name or because he had a brief cameo in one of the greatest shows ever made (Firefly)? I don't know. Maybe it's because he's always pictured with Vanessa Hudgens and he benefits from all the positive feelings she generates inside me. Doesn't matter. What does matter is that you're right, Stephan... this movie is going to suck big time. The people who can make it through life without seeing this sap fest are the lucky ones.

Magic Mike



Hammock: Maybe I shouldn't have issued that apology to Channing last week after all. Magic Mike is supposedly a romantic comedy that faintly resembles Channing Tatum's real life foray into the world of p̶o̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶i̶n̶g̶  male stripping. While I'm totally dying to know all about Channing's personal life, I can't help but think that this is the last movie I would ever want to see (except for maybe Drive Angry 2: Drive Angrier). It's not that I expect it to be horrible (Soderbergh's directing after all), it's just that I can't think of one thing that this film could possibly offer me. I mean, besides body image issues. Even if it's well-acted, well-directed and well-(stripped?), how am I going to enjoy this movie? Just because my last name is Hammock doesn't mean I delight in viewing banana hammocks on the big screen. And if you're thinking that I'm just not secure enough in my own masculinity to go see a movie like this, keep in mind, I own a unicorn pillow pet. Alas, I guess some movies just aren't for me... I'm sure Magic Mike will make plenty of money without my ten bucks.

Note: Good news, Mr. Tatum. Magic Mike could turn be out to be abysmal and still outshine the rest of the stripper movie genre. Striptease and Showgirls both received the not-so-coveted Razzie Award for worst picture... no amount of Mike's magic can make them disappear

Rabbitt: It would be hard to pick a Razzie Worst Picture frontrunner for 2012 at this point. You already have Lockout and soon-to-be released Battleship surely in the running,and we’ll have another installment of both GI Joe and Razzie favorite Twilight before year-end. It’s likely shaping up to be quite the list at the Razzie Worst Picture Showcase, where they pay you $10 to sit through the year’s 10 worst movies. That $10 can replace the $10 you threw away making it rain in the theater on Magic Mike opening night. The WPS doesn’t actually exist, by the way; you know, it’s like 5 divided by 0. Are there Razzie awards for math jokes?

Anyway, Magic Mike: a romantic comedy centered around a pair of male-strippers. Talk about an utapped market. I’m with David in that this movie probably isn’t going to be as bad as I would like it to be. I’ll just have to rely on movie critic reviews to form my opinion as there is a 100% chance that I’ll never see for myself. I am, however, somewhat interested to see how it performs at the box office. I have to figure that a rom com with some topless McConaughey action will bring in more than a few ladies. Then, you throw in Tatum, Alex Pettyfer (I am Number Four) and Matt Bomer (White Collar). Now I’m beginning to see why I didn’t get this casting call... because I’m studying for the CPA exam, obviously.

Editor's Note: Beacsue Magic Mike is a romantic comedy about male strippers involving Mr.'s Tatum and McConaughey we would be remiss if we didn't ask the opinion of an FoW certified female. So, we asked our resident cartoonist and Ireland aficionado Laurie Skelton to weigh in. Laurie... bring us home.

Laurie: A Certified Female Response to Magic Mike, eh? Well, first off, I have to weigh in with Stephan on the fact that Magic Mike's major failing looks to be that it's not going to be bad enough to merit a ten-dollar trip to the Friday night cinema. And this, friends, is truly a travesty. There is nothing more depressing than a terrible concept for a movie heavily reliant on sexy body shots and wet t-shirts that takes itself waaay too seriously (Transformers II anyone?). 

Oh, and he "makes" furniture by throwing pre-cut slabs of glass on what looks to be... um... an air conditioning vent? Mikey, honey, any self-respecting DIY blogger could do that with twenty dollars and a few trips to the local Home Depot/thrift store. I mean, I'm not saying you're not talented, I'm just saying that at least in Flashdance the chick got to use a blow torch.

Again, this movie is on the line--not bad enough to be good and certainly not good enough to be good. If there was the slightest hint of "oh wow aren't we ridiculous" self-deprecation in this movie trailer, I really think we'd have a winner (loser?) on our hands.  Sadly... eh. I remain unmoved. What can I say?  Cowboys aren't my thing. (Maybe that's why I'm moving to Ireland...?)

Although, now that I think about it, if they let me pay the ticket booth cashier by "makin' it rain." I'll be much more likely to attend. They should really turn that into a promotional event.

David Hammock, Stephan Rabbitt, and Laurie Skelton will be starting their custom furniture made from elephant tusks business next month. They are all regular contributors to FoW. To find out their thoughts on the ivory trade and other movie related things you can follow them on Twitter @david_hammock @itsrabbitt and @LASkeleton

Air Gameboy

It's funny because it's true...

----
Laurie is a regular contributor to Fistful of Words. You can view more of her artwork at Itchin' to Dance or her thoughts on creativity at Flight of the Tumblebee. You can follow Laurie on Twitter @LASkeleton.

Game of Thrones Review: What is Dead, May Never Die

Arya and Gendry get themselves captured in What is Dead, May Never Die.
Image via Game of Thrones Facebook

By Thomas Hokum

This week’s episode kicked off with an obligatory cut to Craster knocking out Jon to end last Sunday’s episode. Really this is just a throwaway scene confirming, “Yes, Craster gives his own sons to the zombie-esque White Walkers.” Yet, what’s more unsettling is the fact that Commander Mormont knows and accepts this saying only, “The Wildlings serve far crueler gods than we.”

Moving forward, the episode had three storylines going: 1) The continuation of Tyrion’s political schemes in King’s Landing 2) The introduction of Renly’s camp in the South and 3) The Greyjoys plans (and Theon’s role in those plans) to attack Winterfell and the North. Oh, and we get one hell of a scene with Arya and Yoren.

Also, we saw Bran continuing to have greendreams and Master Ludwin continuing to say they are simply dreams. Riiiiight. I love how Ludwin also says they died away with dragons, which we know have returned to Westeros. Also, we finally get a clean shot of Bran’s direwolf Summer. While Summer looks great, he definitely seems to be the smallest of the wolves, which is fitting as each wolf is meant to be a representation of its accompanying Stark.

The montage shot of Tyrion telling each member of the small council that he would wed Myrcella to a different noble was set beautifully by cinematographer P.J. Dillon, not to mention a brilliant Machiavellian move, effectively eliminating Cersei’s spy in the form of Master Pycelle. We also find that Pycelle knew about John Arryn discovering Cersei and Jaime’s romantic relationship, and was at the very least complicit in Arryn’s murder. The monologue by Varys as he talks about power with Tyrion is one of the best excerpts from the second book. “A small man may cast a very big shadow...” An alliance between Tyrion and the master of spies could have a huge effect on the power game at King’s Landing.

FoW Movie Trailers Rundown: Katy Perry Inspires Bobby Petrino

By David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt

Lola Versus

 

Hammock: With The Cults and Young the Giant playing in the background and a title borrowed from a Kinks album, it looks like Lola Versus will at least boast a solid soundtrack. The movie itself... eh, I dunno. I do like Greta Gerwig and I guess it could be one of those touching coming-to-terms-with-being-

single-and-turning-30 kind of movies, but I feel a little burnt out on coming-to-terms-with-being-single-and-turning-30 movies. I'll be willing to give it a shot, but since I'm a man, I'll also be on the lookout for something better. 

Rabbitt: I frequently comment to my office roomie that I should be able to look out the window of my office building and, at any given moment, see a lady stumbling in her heels. It just seems like they are teetering on the edge of disaster with every step. It's not like all pedestrian traffic takes place on flat surfaces. You have sidewalks in need of repair, subway grates, manhole covers, decorative tile patterns, "Zach + Kelly 4ever" engravings, etc. I don't see how there aren't more embarrassing tumbles like Ms. Gerwig experienced at the end of this trailer happening all over the place. Oh, the movie looks okay, too.

Ted

 

Rabbitt: The voice sounds just a little too much like Peter Griffin for me to not think of Peter Griffin when the bear talks. If given the option to either watch the movie or be on set when they filmed the Walberg v. Bear fight scene, I'd choose the fight scene 100% of the time. That had to be hilarious to watch. The actual movie? Maybe not so much.

Hammock: Ted. Like short for Teddy Bear. I get it! It only gets better from there as evidenced by the scene where the cute little bear humps the checkout scanner. Ugh. I'm sure this movie will be moderately funny, but I feel like I've seen the whole cute, fuzzy, foul-mouthed shtick before. Ted's voice does sound a little too much like Peter Griffin's, Stephan, and since I'm not the world's biggest Family Guy fan, that's not the best thing. Like Family Guy, Ted will probably be full of hits and misses, at least in my eyes, leaving me wanting a movie from the creators of superior comedic cartoons like Futurama or the eternally underrated Home Movies.

Katy Perry Part of Me in 3D


Hammock: It's no secret which "part of her" has made Katy Perry famous. I was also gonna make a joke about the movie being shot in 3DD, but I was beaten to the punch by the geniuses behind the Piranha sequel. Anyway, at the risk of losing all my indie cred, I kinda like Katy Perry... and it's not entirely in an ironic/hipster way. "Teenage Dream" was one of my favorite songs of 2010 and while she has some stinkers, Katy makes more than one appearance on my iPod. That's a little embarrassing to admit, but at least I didn't divulge that I know that her cat is named Kitty Purry and  that her real name is Katy Hudson, but she changed it so as not to be confused with Kate Hudson the actress. Okay, so I like Katy Perry... I'm still never gonna see this movie.

Rabbitt: David, there is no shame in admitting to some KP on the iPod. Girl sings some catchy tunes. This movie was originally intended to be in 2-D until the divorce. Now, it's a giant three dimensional slap in the face to what Russell Brand is missing. Don't feel too bad for yourself though, Russell. There's another man having a worse week than you. He had his own teenage dream when he kissed a girl and he liked it. That's right. I'm looking at you, Bobby Petrino. Did you think you knew a place where the grass was really greener? Well, you DO have to feel like a waste of space, cuz baby you're uh... fired. That's what you get for waking up in Vegas a ditch with a girl half your age that isn't your wife.

Savages


Rabbitt: One last chance for Taylor Kitsch to salvage 2012. I'm pulling for him, but I'm not hopeful. Savages comes out the same week as the Spiderman reboot and Dark Knight Rises follows two weeks later. There aren't many soft spots in the 2012 movie lineup for something like this to grab much of a foothold. It doesn't look like a movie I would see in theaters to begin with even just to support Kitsch and Demian Bichir, fresh of his Oscar nomination for A Better Life, but always Esteban Reyes to me. At least it looks better than Battleship.

Hammock: Wait. Are Tim Riggins and Kick-Ass cool with sharing Serena van der Woodsen? Looks that way. I bet Blair is totally having a jealousy-induced BF right about now. This trailer made my head hurt. Lots of flashing images and loud noises and movie stars. Doesn't Oliver Stone know I have a headache? Savage! I'm not too interested in this one as I am not very much into drugs or murder... at least not at the moment.

I'd like to take a moment now to apologize to MTR punching bag, Channing Tatum. I saw 21 Jump Street and you were actually pretty funny in it, Channing. There's your niche... teen comedy. I'll understand if you don't forgive me after all the mean things I've said about you in our weekly rundowns, because honestly, I'll probably never forgive you for Dear John.

Stephan Rabbitt and David Hammock are proud Falcons fans that may or may not have cheered when Bobby Petrino was fired earlier this week. You can follow them on Twitter @david_hammock & @itsrabbitt.

NBC Smash Review: Understudy & Theatre Relationships

If you blinked you may have missed Uma Thurman on Smash last night.
Image via NBC Smash Facebook.

By Elle T.

Let’s pretend for a moment that we live in a world where nothing average is interesting and everyone overreacts to everything.

While perhaps that’s not too far from your own life, I’m talking specifically about the world of NBC’s Smash. On this week’s episode, “Understudy,” a skittish investor threatens to pull out when a travel malfunction delays the star which Ellis helped secure.  In response, Eileen finds a new, edgier investor and proceeds to burn (literally, light on fire) the contracts of those stuffy investors right in front of them in the middle of a bar. That’s not overreacting.

When this star, Rebecca Duvall (played by Uma Thurman), is delayed, Karen is officially chosen as the understudy and must go on to learn the staging. Derek grows frustrated with her “green” behavior when she forgets her pencil in rehearsal and misses some blocking (that’s jargon for where to move when). But when Karen appears flustered and slightly defensive at Derek’s outburst, he has a vision of her as Marilyn. She appears to him in full dress (wig, lipstick, everything) and he sees her as the perfect embodiment of the icon. And incidentally, Katharine McPhee does a pretty good job of it. After this crucial moment, Derek's condescending attitude toward her changes. He suddenly takes a gentler approach to directing her, and even goes to visit her apartment to tell her in person that the star will be arriving and she is to step back into the chorus.

The visit seems kind and out of character (if not a bit unnecessary) for Derek, which is why it’s unfortunate that Dev arrives home just in time to see him leaving. In a fit of jealousy, he punches Derek and demands to know what he’s doing there. Derek doesn’t get much time to explain between Dev’s unexpected ninja hits, and he slumps home after Karen breaks up the ruckus.

Dev’s unabashed show of protecting his lady stirs up a huge question for the couple. Dev seems to be asking Karen hypothetically (but not) if she would quit Bombshell. His question serves two purposes. First: Dev’s assertion that Karen needs to get away from a director whom he now knows sexually harassed her upon their first meeting. Two, on the other hand:  Dev has learned that a better opportunity might be waiting for him in D.C. Would Karen be willing to give up her dreams and move to D.C. to stay with Dev?

I suppose to the average person this seems like a pretty big stumbling block for a relationship. In the theatre world, however, this circumstance is merely a speed bump. Until you hit the big-time on Broadway, theatre jobs happen all over the country and couples are constantly faced with the dilemma of a long distance relationship.

But for our beloved Smash characters, this is a singular life altering decision.

Dev doesn’t seem willing to consider (or, for the sake of the dramatic arc, ignores) the possibility of such a compromise for a long distance relationship. When Karen doesn’t immediately jump on the move-to-DC train, Dev tests the waters of Karen’s commitment. He digs to see if she would ask HIM to give up everything he’s been working for to stay in NYC. At Karen’s understandable hesitation (and I must add, confusion) Dev grabs his coat and walks out the door.  I’ll take a relationship on the rocks please, bartender.

Ivy goes through a transition of her own when she learns that Karen has been chosen as the understudy. She decides to play nice to try to get back in the show. Perhaps good behavior will win back the producers.

Dear Ivy, sucking up to the understudy isn’t what’s going to get you back in the show, sweetheart. I would try talking to Cher to see if she can turn back time for you. That’s about the only way you’ll ever set foot on a Broadway stage again.

By the end of the episode, Eileen has finally managed to make out with her bartender interest. He surprisingly pulls through with an investor who gives her all the money she needs for her show, and in return all he wants is a kiss. Or so we think. Who knows what next week might reveal!

Oh! And how could I neglect to mention Ms. Uma Thurman's appearance? I'm pretty sure she spent more time filming the promos than she did on the episode. A brief, "Am I in the right place?" was all the writers used to introduce her this week. Maybe next week she'll actually be in the show.

Even this late in the season, my biggest problem with Smash has been the writing. Overall, I’m still committed to the concept of the show. And the show within the show remains my favorite part of Smash. Even the structure of the piece is solid. Give or take a random song at a bowling alley or in the middle of Times Square, the songs are properly motivated and exciting to watch. Yet, it's the circumstances in recent episodes that sometimes feel forced and the dialogue awkward. When characters have to ask, "Why did you do that?" to make certain behavior clear to the audience, I think it might be time to find clearer motivation. The writers have relied heavily on that device lately to justify the drama-stirring behavior of their characters.

The one thing I do believe, however, is Julia’s journey in the aftermath of her affair. Her storyline has validity and truth:  she strays. Husband finds out. Husband leaves. She’s torn up with remorse. The dialogue and characterization surrounding these circumstances flows naturally and allows Debra Messing to give a solid performance every time.

All in all, “Understudy” was right on par with the sudsy drama Smash has established for itself. Anything less might leave audiences wanting for more on this nighttime soap opera. And let’s face it, theatre people are dramatic. Perhaps it’s more of a realistic interpretation than I’m willing to admit.

See you all next week! Thanks for tuning in.

Elle is not a ninja but has been involved in a theatre-caused long distance relationship. For more thoughts on Smash and Broadway you can follow Ell on Twitter @ElleTinTheCity

Logic in the Time of Cholera

by David Hammock

I was very, very sick the past few days. How sick? Well, at one point I chose to watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 in its entirety rather than get up and walk three steps across the living room to get the remote and change the channel. I must have been delirious too, because half the time it seemed like the dogs were talking in these racially insensitive little voices and... I dunno, I guess the plot was just too complex to follow for someone who hasn't seen the first movie. Anyway, though the doggie movie was pretty terrible, I don't regret my decision. You see, I have this theory about being sick... you don't partake in anything you enjoy because once you're well, you'll forever associate that enjoyable thing with being sick... then it won't be enjoyable anymore.


It's a von Trapp!

Case in point: 4th grade. I missed THREE weeks of school with what I can only assume was some form of the Bubonic Plague. My favorite movie back then was The Sound of Music. My mom stayed home with me the whole time and we watched it over and over and over. I tell ya, I knew every line of that movie. I could climb every mountain, ford every stream, AND name the casting director. At the time, it seemed like a pretty good way to pass the time while the Black Death slowly exited my system. But now? Now, even a glimpse of that movie makes me feel sick to my stomach. I can't hear "My Favorite Things" without feeling, ironically, so bad. Any flower that remotely resembles the majestic edelweiss sends me into convulsions. Even talking about World War II makes me break out in a cold sweat... which was rough, seeing as I was a history major in college.


Wilco will love me, baby

This past week, if I had gathered the strength to get up and pop in Hoosiers instead of suffering through two hours of talking dogs, I could have ruined one of my favorite movies. Thus, Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 was a necessary evil. This theory also holds true for bad breakups. That's why I can't listen to Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot anymore. It used to be my favorite record until... nah, I'd never let a girl ruin that album for me. Nice try, Eva Longoria.

David Hammock is 26teen going on 27teen and is a regular contributor to Fistful of Words. You can read more from him on his blog The Kids are Aight or follow him on Twitter @david_hammock, Pinterest, and Tumblr. 

Games of Thrones Review: The Night Lands

Daenerys appeared briefly in "The Night Lands."
To make up for that, we posted a pic of her here.
Image via Game of Thrones Facebook

By Thomas Hokum

This week we see GoT introduce the Iron Islands of Pyke, home to the Greyjoy family, as Theon finally returns home and gets a full dose of Tyrion’s power games as the newly installed Hand in King’s Landing.

The episode opens with Arya still travelling with Gendry and the Night’s Watch recruits to the wall. We get to see Arya make her first real contact with Haqen H’ghar, the odd-spoken prisoner in the cage and an important character later on, and learn that the Gold Cloaks are searching for Gendry though he doesn’t know why.

Back in King’s Landing, Tyrion continues his political games as Hand, most noticeably removing Janos Slynt as Captain of the Gold Cloaks and replacing him with his own personal bodyguard Bronn. This is a brilliant move by Tyrion because, as he explains to Cersei later, it helps remove the stain from all the stories circulating of the Gold Cloaks butchering Robert’s bastard babies in the streets, while also replacing a key player with someone loyal to Tyrion rather than Cersei. Also of note, Varys informs Tyrion that he knows he has brought his prostitute Sasha to Court against his father, Tywin’s, wishes.

The Tyrion versus Cersei power games are really the sub-plot of the episode. In the final scenes, we see the two square off with Tyrion finally questioning her, although in his usual joking manner, about the incestuous rumors regarding her and Jaime. Her response is to ask if he remembers his first joke, when he killed their mother while leaving her womb. Her words have the intended effect and the audience is assured no alliances will be struck anytime soon between these two Lannister siblings. Click through to read more about direwolves and sister-wives from episode two of GoT.

FoW Movie Trailers Rundown: Malin Ackerman vs. Ellen Page

by David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt

The Giant Mechanical Man



Hammock: I'll go ahead and ask the question on everyone's mind (no, not "Where's Jim?"): How did the bespectacled fellow from Mad Men pull Malin Akerman? Is he funny or something? Anyway, this movie looks fairly promising, what with the little Sundance leaves in the title card and all. It should be fun to see Pam Beasley step out from behind the receptionist desk and take on a semi-serious role... even if it is opposite a giant man-robot. While these quirky little indie romantic comedies almost always pique my interest, I sometimes find them on the trite side, but we'll give this one the benefit of the doubt. Here's to hoping for Garden State, but expecting Lars and the Real Girl.


Rabbitt: I think we all know the answer to how he pulled Malin Akerman... his superior abilities in the area of mental math. They strike again! I'm sure you have experienced this in your life, as well. Generally, I like this type of movie. At worst, I'm looking at a movie that is just okay with little chance to bomb with me. The real question though: Is the Tin Man only after Pam's heart because the Wizard turned him away?


Step Up Revolution




Rabbitt: One small step up for man, one giant leap down for movie goers. The best part about watching this trailer on YouTube is that it recommends Justin Bieber's new single "Boyfriend" at the end. I guess they are shooting for the 99% here with their protest dancing while the big bad businessman uses money that he earned while working a job to buy up all the cool stuff. The nerve. The only place Step Up Revolution is going to occupy is the dollar theater about a week after release.


Hammock: If I'm watching this movie, I'm rooting for Sandy Cohen from the O.C. (Don't call it that.) Seriously, I hope all those dancers go to jail for causing that traffic jam. Pop, lock, don't drop the soap. And if you're gonna dance to protest Miami millionaires, at least pick ones worth the funk assembly... the Miami Marlins. Worst uniforms ever? You're right Stephan, the businessman probably worked his tail off, doing hours upon hours of mental math, to get where he's at in life, only to be made the villain by a bunch of tools doing the running man. What is it about South Beach that makes so many losers want to take their talents there?


Rock of Ages




Hammock: Country music is the worst musical genre, but 80s hair metal isn't far behind. This movie revolves around the music of Bon Jovi, Journey, Poison, and a handful of other bands I won't let within a mile of my iPod. So I just don't see myself enjoying this one. As is the case with Step Up 4, if I am forced into seeing this movie, I'll be rooting for the rich, uptight businessperson (this time it's Catherine Zeta-Jones) to prevail over the obnoxious, raucous youth. I'm a big fan of Malin, but not of metal, musicals, or miscreants... all the Akermans in the world won't change that. Even if Twisted Sister themselves offer me a free ticket, I'm not gonna take it.


Rabbitt: It seems the editor is sorting this week's trailers by Ackerman. Keep it up, T.S. Apparently, Anne Hathaway and Amy Adams were initially offered the role but were previously engaged with Dark Night Rises and Man of Steel, respectively. Rock of Ages didn't really have a prayer with us. I, too, don't care for 80's rock. I'm actually a huge fan of a bar in Atlanta where the bartenders have a button to skip songs played on the jukebox and skip Journey every time someone plays it. Any way you want it... sike!


To Rome with Love




Rabbitt: As much as I loved Midnight in Paris, it's no surprise I'm very excited about Woody Allen's next release. The trailer has the same ambiance as MiP; I feel like they moved to Rome, changed the cadence of the accordion and called it a day. Last time I saw Ellen Page was Inception, in which she was excellent, but it is great to see her back in the type of movie that showcases her acting a bit more. And, I still haven't seen Social Network, so this will serve as my gentle, Jessie Eisenberg reminder that it's 2012.


Hammock: Gotta love Ellen Page. Or do I? As much as I liked her as Juno and Babe Ruthless, her character in this one seems like a giant ho-bag. Ms. Page serves as a microcosm of my feelings toward Woody Allen movies: I want to like them, but sometimes I just can't. Like Stephan, I liked Mid**ght in Paris, mostly because it was lighthearted and endearing, but many Woody Allen movies are so morally flawed that I can't get behind them. I realize, of course, that 99% of people in Hollywood don't share my ideals, but for some reason Woody Allen strikes me as particularly morally bankrupt. Maybe it's the whole married-to-his-daughter thing. Anyway, I'm a fan of Game of Thrones, which is completely devoid of morality, so I'm kind of a hypocrite. Still, that's a heck of a lot better than that whole married-to-your-daughter thing.

David Hammock and Stephan Rabbitt are both excellent at mental math... ladies. For demonstrations of their skills you should send them flash cards or follow them on Twitter @david_hammock and @itsrabbitt.

NBC Smash Review: Hell on Earth

Ellis offers his "services" to secure a star.
Image via NBC Smash Facebook

By Elle T

Aha!! Ellis is NOT straight! Good job, Jaime Cepero.

On this week's installment of NBC's nighttime soap Smash, the drama unfolds without too many new complications in “Hell on Earth.” Ivy's prescription addiction is becoming more pronounced, Karen is finding success with a commercial booking, Frank finds out about Julia and Michael's affair, and the musical finally finds a title: Bombshell.

The appropriately titled Bombshell reflects both Marilyn's iconic title as well as her brief and explosive existence in the eyes of the public. And if Derek has anything to say about the newest incarnation of the piece, that will be the edgier focus of the show. Hopefully he’ll approve the title.

While Eileen and Derek have been pressuring Julia for said title, Derek refuses to move on in the hunt for a star until the script is developed and has a name. As titles are important and often not easy to come by, Julia explains to Frank that she “hates titles” as she bursts in their front door after a long day. She rattles on that sometimes, when you’re lucky, they’ll just hit you.

Just like the unlucky bomb that’s about to hit her.

As she walks into the apartment, Frank is playing the piano and singing a sentimental tune that Julia doesn’t acknowledge at first. As it the meaning of the song sinks in and she realizes that Frank found that music and made the connection between her and Michael (not quite sure how that happened, but perhaps I missed that part), Julia freezes. Debra Messing does a beautiful job portraying the shock that one would presumably feel when caught in such a situation. The audience could see her thought process of, “Do I lie to protect my family (and not get caught) or tell the truth?” When she finally realizes she cannot lie, the explosive scene between her and her husband is gripping and ultimately inspires her work. Nicely done, writers. The literary structure and parallels in this show are quite artfully done overall.

It’s the drama that gets a little cheesy.

Guess who have become “friends” by the end of the episode? No, not Derek and Tom. Karen and Ivy! When the two ladies literally bump into each other at an audition, they both drop their sunglasses and take the wrong ones home. Ivy throws Karen’s away out of spite and jealousy, but Karen attempts to return Ivy’s and ventures to theatre where she happens to be having a particularly difficult performance of Heaven on Earth thanks to a drug induced state of delirium. Falling down center stage during one of the show’s big ensemble numbers, she provokes the leading man (beautifully performed by Broadway veteran Norbert Leo Butz) to yell at her mid song. “Get off the stage!” he barks. Some audience members that night go so far as to request their money back. This cannot bode well for Ivy’s future in the business. People talk. For real.

Acting as a dash of artificial sweetener for our already sweetened hazelnut plot, the two girls end up having a rather unexpected, and mostly unconvincing, girls’ night. When Ivy impulsively leaves the theatre in costume (can we say, “FIRED”??) Karen follows her out to the nearest liquor store and beyond. They end up drinking their alcohol from a paper bag and singing a duet with a street performer in Times Square:  a cover of Rihanna’s “Cheers (Drink to That).” Smash never fails to insert the obligatory pop cover. Must.... Be.... Like........ Glee!

Karen eventually gets Ivy, still decked in her stage garb, home and leaves her passed out safely on her bed. Ivy makes a point to say, “You know we’re not best friends, right?” Ivy’s reluctance at Karen’s help doesn’t faze Karen’s heart of gold. She goes home pleased that she could help a colleague.

Meanwhile, there’s something brewing between Ivy’s close friend Sam and Tom. We’re not sure what quite yet, but it’s there. Tom leaves a republican benefit with current boyfriend John to help Ivy, and ends up spending the evening with Sam when they can’t find her. Tom later ignores a text from John. Rude.

And with that, time for another game of Elle T’s Believable or Not:

Believable:  Ellis uses his previous contacts to get a star for Bombshell.

Believable:  Eileen puts Ellis in his place when he tries to manipulate his way to a producing credit for bringing in a star.

Believable:  Frank reacting to Julia’s affair. And that whole situation, actually. 

Believable:  Ellis offering up his “services” to a male agent to procure a star for what is ultimately his own gain. THANK YOU! It finally comes out that he might lean in a direction away from girls.

Not:  Karen being allowed to just walk in the stage door during a performance of a Broadway show. If that’s the case, I’m gonna go buy a couple pairs of sunglasses and deliver them to my friends in shows. That’s awesome! 

Not:  Karen giving Ivy money for alcohol. She’s clearly out of her mind, and you’re going to lend her 20 bucks for booze?? Nice, Karen. Nice.

Not:  Ivy's friend Sam insisting to Tom that "we can't be her mother" when she clearly has a problem. Telling her to pick up her clothes off the floor would be being her mother. Even telling her not to sleep with a director might be. But intervening and trying to curb a substance problem? Sounds like a pretty good friend to me.

At any rate, Smash has been renewed for another season, so even the not so believable must be okay. Thanks for playing! Anything you all find particularly believable or not? I’d love to hear from you! Tweet me @ElleTintheCity or post a comment. Otherwise, tune in next week!

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Daze

by David Hammock

Sick of chick flicks? See Rachel McAdams' face everywhere? Feel like the only things you ever do are Eat, Pray, and Love? You sir, may be suffering from what I like to call "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Daze." It's a dreadful condition in which you're eternally obligated to watch chick flicks with your wife or girlfriend. But fear not, manly man, for there is hope. Here are few ways to help escape all the girly (Sandra) bullocks.

1. Suggest a movie with a hot guy in it.

Chick flick me as hard as you can

"Hey, let's watch this one. It's got People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive Bradley Cooper in it."

Bam, you're watching the Hangover.

Mention Keanu Reeves, you're watching Point Break. Mention Brad Pitt, you're watching Fight Club. You get the picture.

2. Tell her that you think the girl in the chick flick she picked is hot.

"Oh, we're watching Win A Date With Tad Hamilton? That's cool, Kate Bosworth is hot.
"Is she prettier than me?"
"Well, we're about to find out. Press play."
"No wait, I think it's your turn to pick."

Just be careful with this one, there are some snags with this step. For instance:

1. Make sure you know who the actress is:

"Hey, let's watch Uptown Girls."
"What's that?"
"It's that cute little movie with Dakota Fanning."
"Ok, fine. Dakota Fanning is hot."
"She's like 12 years old."

Makes Step 5 easier

2. Make sure the she isn't a he:

"Let's watch Bringing Up Baby."
"Who's in that?"
"Cary Grant."
"Cool. She's hot."
"Cary Grant's a man."

3. Stretch the truth.

"Oh, NOTTING Hill... I thought you said HAMBURGER Hill."

4. Flat out lie

"Sorry honey, Blockbuster was all out of business chick flicks, so I rented Die Hard. It has some dialogue, so I think you'll like it."

"Nicholas Sparks killed my dad."

5. Deal with it. 

Chick flicks aren't always bad. I happen to like Pride and Prejudice, Atonement, and Love Actually, among others. Of course, maybe I just like Keira Knightley.


David Hammock actually prefers chick flicks over action movies and is a regular contributor to Fistful of Words. You can read more from him on his blog The Kids are Aight or follow him on Twitter @david_hammock, Pinterest, and Tumblr.